Who am I?
I don’t recognize my reflection here. That’s me, but not the me I know.
There is something different. Different in the silhouette, different in the frame. I love it. I fear it.
Gah. Change. Why is it so fun and exciting, yet so hard at the same time?
I love this new direction in my photography. I love the painterly mood and emotion that I am evoking in my images. Within myself. It’s not about perfect focus or the place I am right now, but the feeling. The impressions of light and shadow and color and how they convey a sentiment beyond what is physically there.
Yet I am scared, too.
Scared because I thought I had myself all figured out as an artist and this is so radically different. I don’t know where this will lead. I’m not sure how it all fits together within my self. Within my heart and soul.
Exciting. Scary. The raw material for a period of growth. I don’t know who I am at the moment, but I’m moving ahead anyway. I will continue to reflect, and figure out how the pieces fit as I go along. Learn to recognize myself again.
This month I’ve been exploring some new directions with my photography, and it turns out the top images for my Photo-Heart Connection were all painterly in feel. Whether from my mobile camera or from my dSLR camera, these were the ones that called to my soul. I’ve always thought my painting and my photography would come together someday. I just never thought it would be like it’s happening right now. I’m reveling in the excitement but also stunned at the fear that it’s evoking in me. The questions. The rules and the “shoulds” it’s revealing, about my art and who I am as an artist.
I didn’t want to do the Photo-Heart Connection this month. I was really resistant. I think, deep down inside, I didn’t want to face my fears. But that’s what the Photo-Heart Connection does. It cracks you open and lays you out for the messages your heart has for you. It’s a powerful thing.
For that reason, I’d like to do a series of guest posts at the end of the year. I want to hear how the Photo-Heart Connection has impacted you this year. How did you approach this monthly practice? How has it fed your personal growth? Has it changed your photography? I would like to know, and I think others would too. We learn from each other, in this community of kindred spirits. Here are the submission guidelines:
- To be eligible, you must have participated in the Photo-Heart Connection at least 3 times throughout the year.
- Write an original (unpublished) piece about how the Photo-Heart Connection has impacted you this year. Length is up to you. Use as short or as long as you need to communicate your experience.
- Send it to me by December 15 at kat [at] kateyestudio [dot] com.
- Include a few of the images you selected from your Photo-Heart Connection practice this year, and a 2-3 line bio with links to your blog/site/social media.
I plan to select 5 to 6 posts from the submissions and will let you know by 20 December if you are selected. I hope you will consider participating. I’ve found the Photo-Heart Connection practice to be powerful and I know, from reading your posts each month, that many of you do too.
So what’s your Photo-Heart Connection for October? It’s time to share with us here. Link up remains open through November 7.